I watched the movie, “The Way We Were”, starring Robert Redford (Hubbell) and Barbara Streisand (Katie) for the first time the other night. It was a toss-up between various reality shows or this. Little did I know this movie truly IS a reality show.

Sheepishly, I have to admit the only exposure I’ve ever had to Babs and Bob is the last goodbye scene between Carrie and Mr. Big in “Sex in the City”. Guess I’m dating my age, but no matter…I never really got Carrie’s epiphany, that was until I watched the movie.

http://youtu.be/GT8JszrPtTM

I lay awake for quite awhile afterwards, thinking non-stop about Katie and how strong-willed, passionate and intense she is.

Why did she have to make things so complicated between them? Why couldn’t she relax and just “be” rather than lose Hubbell? Why was she constantly battling against the status quo, seemingly never satisfied? Why, when it’s much easier to just go with the flow???

I could ask the same questions of myself for that matter. Why do I refuse to settle for anything less than I deserve? Why won’t I simply be satisfied with mediocrity in jobs, relationships, processes or myself even? Why isn’t the word “conform” in my dictionary???

Why? Because. She, I and many countless others, including you dear reader, have to be true to ourselves above all costs. While compromise has its place, make sure you aren’t selling your soul for it.

It’s brutally difficult, intense, passionate, tiresome and lonely at times but what you have in return is a life of not settling, a life of no regrets filled with extreme highs and lows. It’s not a life for everyone and that’s okay. But if you can stomach it, you really are living authentically.

So the next time you see a woman being “difficult”, not settling, standing up for herself, fighting the good fight, do her a favor and acknowledge she is a “Katie” girl.

Yes, you are quite lovely, Katie.

But this past week while listening to a speech in a women’s leadership meeting which compared women to wolves; the strength in numbers, our differences, similarities and the impact we make together, suddenly I realized as I looked around the room filled with powerful and passionate women that this lone wolf belongs to a pack! I asked myself, “When did this happen?

And it’s not just one pack, it’s several; my office pack, women leadership pack, Girls on the Run pack, Women on Fire pack and I’m even assembling a pack of my very own.

Recently a young and very talented lady who is passionate about helping other young women reached out to me to meet for coffee. She asked me how she could help my cause. What should she be doing with her talents? With her life? How can she make a difference too? Then she asked if she could join my pack too. I sat across from this complete stranger prior to our meeting, who now felt like family, and told her she’s in my family circle. Together we are going to make a powerful impact helping other women, more so than we ever could alone.

“For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.” ~Rudyard Kipling

Oddly enough, another person recently asked to join my expanding She-wolf family. A coincidence? I think not.

Just last night I had dinner with a professional acquaintance I hadn’t seen in over two years. When she texted me with the invitation, she typed, “you and I are going to be friends”. Sounds good to me I thought with a huge smile on my face. When we met, it was kismet. We talked about our life struggles, exciting projects, good books to read, vacations, love, loss and how we can help other people with their life struggles. By the end of the night after sharing our stories, we were both convinced we weren’t just friends, we were sisters.

What I’ve learned over the years is this; family is much more than sharing a last name. It’s much deeper than a bloodline. My family has expanded to a circle of compassionate, intelligent and supportive women, who share more than a name; we share common goals and a love for one another that doesn’t require a family tree.

For all you lone wolves out there, I’m not knocking being a lone wolf at all, it has served me well. But there comes a point in time when you realize, “it’s not just about you”. You have a duty, an obligation as a strong, brilliant, talented, passionate woman to participate in something much bigger that will change the lives of individuals, communities and the world…and yes, even you along the way.

My advice to your girlfriend? Join a pack of She-wolves and by running together you will really begin to live a life filled with adventure, compassion and love.

The door leading to my first women's retreat in New Mexico

Well, my Someday dream was, “Someday I will run a women’s retreat out West on my own hacienda”. It’s a big dream I realize this, but I only do big. For me, this meant having the money to purchase my own million dollar, luxury hacienda. Like I said, I dream BIG.

But something unexpected happened while I was surfing the net this week. I tripped upon a retreat website that links to vacation rentals and low and behold, I had an EPIPHANY! I could host a retreat in a RENTED luxury hacienda. Now, today! Not ten years from now when I could afford to buy one but rather move full steam ahead today by renting! It was right there all along and then, BAM! Clarity.

The possibilities are endless. In fact, I could run a retreat bi-monthly at different fabulous locations out west in Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, Utah… there are luxury rentals in all those places. The adventures are waiting to be realized. The future participants are waiting for their invitations. The universe has been waiting on me to find my way. Why? Because…

“When I let go of who I am, I become what I might be ~ Lao Tzu

Well, wait no more. Opportunity is knocking at the door, I’m ready, my bags are packed and I’m letting her in! Where there is a will, there is a way. Never give up on your “Someday”; it can come sooner than you think.

What’s your “Someday”? Imagine how you would feel if you pushed it closer to today. Ask yourself how you can make that happen. Don’t postpone your joy!

Someday is Now.

In fact, I marveled a lot this week, at the small things that really make me happy and (light bulb) it just came from living “me” authentically…

My k-cup supply for my new Keurig arrived, 96 cups of bliss, one cup at a time.

Walking Willy, ice free, and minus brutal winds after his breakfast, a Koegel hotdog. Willy loves Koegels, you can only get them in the Midwest…I love quality time with Willy.

My replacement prescription sunglasses came in, I sat on the first pair but they were covered under warranty, and I like the new pair better ~ bonus!

Sitting in front of a roaring fire with a bowl of popcorn and glass of wine watching the NFL playoffs, Heaven!

Shellac manicure in bubble gum pink on a lazy Saturday morning. Whoever came up with this, is a pure genius. The Keurig or Shellac? I’m not sure which wins…

Lastly, I had an amazing Friday, huge understatement. It was a day that I will never forget and is officially in the top five days of my entire life! I was honored to give a keynote address to some amazing women leaders from Women in Leadership Mid-Michigan at their monthly luncheon. The speech was about embracing risk and living the life you imagine. I had played that speech in my head a thousand times. The topic, the setting, the excitement in the women, what I would wear and the standing ovation…it all came true, my first standing ovation ever!

But I think the loudest cheers came from the Girls on the Run of Saginaw County table when WILMM announced that they would continue supporting our program! That’s tens of young girls who will be able to go through the program whose families wouldn’t normally be able to afford it!

See it, speak it, do it! I preach the Law of Attraction all the time. It really, really works. What a blessing, what a gift, what an amazing thing to do…that is, living your purpose!

Yes, Tulips bloomed this week. Maybe not outside, but certainly inside my heart.

I hope Tulips are delivered to you this winter, and quite often.

While these women may have big dreams for themselves, they aren’t just dreaming. They are doing! And what I’ve found is this; the one thing they have in common has absolutely nothing to do with where they live, their age, education, checkbook or background.

Here’s the truth: What these women share is a value system. Yes they value themselves, but they value relationships, people, and the human spirit even more. They genuinely see themselves as a vehicle to make positive differences in the lives of people even in the midst of self doubt and fears.

Tales of Fabulousness:

M – Quit her job, is selling her house and joined the Peace Corps, I would not kid you. She is currently waiting on the official notice of where her new home overseas may be. All of this at an age when most people are starting to plan seriously for retirement; she is planning her next bold act! Bravo!

L – A lifetime educator and counselor for at-risk, special needs youth, she decided her definition of retirement is going back to college to pursue yet another degree and open her own coaching business to empower young parents in crisis and renew their belief in their own parental potential. She has a bigger calling and she intends to stand up, rather than sit down and rest.

J – Is a cancer survivor, survivor of many things really and on 1/1/11 made a promise to herself to not purchase clothes, shoes, or other frivolous things but rather invest in her head, heart, body and soul and write about it every single day. For 365 days. Now that the year is almost over, she is embarking on a coaching group for people to help them realize their own promises. You can read her blog at http://thepromise365.com. It will make you pause and think deeply about who you really are and who you want to be, I guarantee it.

G – Would not settle to be a mid-western dental hygienist, so she relocated to California and is now studying under a HOLLYWOOD make-up artist, all to help women feel beautiful. Big things are in store for her, movie make-up artist, own cosmetic line, spa owner? The possibilities are truly up to her.

W – Rebuilding her life after a relationship set-back, dreams of traveling through Europe as a human rights activist. She recently enrolled in a UK Master’s program and is currently planning her next big move to a thriving, dynamic city rich in history and culture that will be her superhero base camp to work, live, love and play.

Oh, I could go on and on celebrating many women, sharing teary-eyed stories into the wee hours of the night with a glass of Pinot Grigio by a toasty fireplace in my Sock Monkey flannel pajamas (great visual right?). But what I really want to end this with is celebrating…YOU.

That’s right, You. Don’t kid yourself; you know exactly where you want to go. You are smart, witty and fabulous. You also understand how realizing your goal will improve your personal well-being, your family and the people around you. So stop with the excuses and being paralyzed by fear. It’s all about Dreaming & Doing. I can testify that this formula always works.

Need a push, inspiration or motivation for 2012? Call on me; I’d love to ride shotgun with you on your journey girlfriend. And no, you don’t need to save the world; you only need to start with saving yourself.

Tick, tock…you’ve got places to go!

Perhaps you recently had an Aha moment and are feverishly searching online for a one way plane ticket to somewhere far, far away in hopes of finding yourself. Perhaps. But I’m willing to bet your story is very similar to the many women I’ve met confessing they’ve been standing countless nights in front of the bathroom mirror unable to recognize the woman staring back at them.

If you take anything away from this article, please understand this; you are not alone and you are not crazy! We all have a vision of what our life is suppose to look like, yet many of us have no clear road map. We seem to be stuck and after taking wrong turns, stumbling across a pothole or changing course altogether, we find it difficult to get back on the right track. In fact, we often find ourselves retracing comfortable footsteps over and over, making the same bad choices, or worse yet, afraid to make a choice at all.

“Admit that it’s scary. It’s normal to have fear about change, recognizing it, and even talking about it, will help smooth it over”. – Susan Crandell, author of “Thinking about Tomorrow: Reinventing Yourself at Midlife”

Many of us are going through major life changes such as motherhood, career crisis, divorce, starting a business, empty nesters, retirement or relocation. The scenarios are countless. However, the solution to placing yourself on a new path is the same regardless of what you may be experiencing.

Let me ask you if this sounds familiar. You feel paralyzed? You aren’t sure where to even begin reinventing your life? You are crystal clear on one fact; you are tired of the status quo and ready to move on. Boy, are you so ready! Here are three simple questions to ask yourself when turning down Reinvention Road; where, who and how.

Where am I today? It’s time for an honest, personal assessment. Grab a piece of paper and make a list of things you aren’t happy about in your life. Be forewarned though what you are about to write down becomes your responsibility to change. Not your boss, mother or your significant other…you. It may be your career, relationship, home or personal image, just to name a few. For this exercise, let’s say you are bored with your life and daily routine. Where’s the zest? There are no surprises and definitely no sense of adventure. Yawn.

Who do I want to be? The next piece requires visualization and journaling. Everyone balks at the famous question, “where do I want to be five years from now”? Why, because it’s tough. The answer usually is, “I don’t know”. For this visualization exercise though, it’s easy because the sky will be the limit. Forget about how you are going to get there at this point. Imagine you have all the resources necessary, money, time and support. Imagining your life in five years from now becomes a fun excise because the fear and doubt is eliminated, right?

Write your thoughts down, do a vision board, draw pictures, listen to empowering music and watch movies that have messages that resonate with you. Suddenly, learning Spanish and attending fabulous festivals throughout the Southwest and blogging about your adventures pop into your plans.

How am I going to get there? It’s time to make an action plan. The best advice would be to keep it simple so you aren’t overwhelmed. Girlfriend, unless you write the steps down on paper, including the challenges, support needed and the estimated completion date, you will remain stuck.

Your plan would look something like this, 1) Sign up for community college Spanish course next semester, $295, 2) Start WordPress blog about your journey, now, free, 3) Research the annual hot-air balloon festival in New Mexico, start saving and planning for the trip. You get the idea. Here starts your Southwestern adventure complete with fabulous food, weather, culture, amazing sunsets, shopping and fun.

We have become a fast-past society built upon instant gratification, looking for a quick fix. Following these three steps, you will not wake up tomorrow in your new ruby red shoes, but they will get you moving in the right direction for sure. One of my favorite movie scenes is from the 1991 iconic movie, “Thelma & Louise” starring Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon. In the last scene they realize they can never return to their old lives, they grab hands and drive their Thunderbird right off a cliff into a deep canyon. Now, I’m not suggesting you jump off a cliff, what I am suggesting though is that you don’t look back, take a big leap and on the way down you will sprout wings and fly!

It’s not money, talent or even luck that sets successful women apart. We all know you could have boat loads of money, but squander it away. You could have talent, but no ambition. You could be lucky, but luck is fleeting. Give up?

Successful women have a Dream Team or “Personal Board of Directors”, is what I like to call mine.

Your team should consist of cheerleaders, challengers and mentors. People who are supportive and genuinely care about your success need only apply. Don’t have one? Here are some tips on creating and operating a successful team:

1. Take emotional risks – Have the courage to voice your personal goals and ask for help; be open vs. guarded; be fearless vs. fearful; be trusting vs. doubtful.

2. Create your support network – Write a list of the people you admire professionally, friends, family and peers whom you trust implicitly. Pick the top five that bring the support you need to the table (cheerleaders, challengers and mentors). Don’t have five? Join organizations with like minded people, attend workshops, or hire a coach. They are out there waiting to support you.

3. Share updates – Set up a private facebook group for your team to share updates, celebrate and ask questions. Emails, a quarterly luncheon or attending events together work well too.

4. Be grateful – Hand written cards, a gift of your favorite book with a genuine message, an update on facebook, or homemade cookies. Little things go a long way.

My own dream team consists of my Mom, BFFs, and mentors. One happens to be a very wise Dentist that plays bass in a local band, no kiddin’. The dude is smart when it comes to being politically correct. I need this because I can be like a bull in a china shop at times. I am able to openly share accomplishments with my team without feeling like I’m gloating. I run ideas past them to get a pulse if I’m headed in the right direction and sometimes they tell me I’m not, but that’s okay. I vent and discuss challenges just to get a sympathetic ear or a tissue. The fact is I wouldn’t have made the strides I’ve made this past year without my team.

And the best part? I’m grateful to be “playing” on others dream teams because there’s nothing better than celebrating someone’s accomplishments, pointing out potholes and pushing them through their fears to take risks and pursue those dreams.

Isn’t that what we are here for after all? To support one another and take each other to our best and highest self?

I think so.

P.S. If you are searching for a supportive and inspiring team of women, check out Women on Fire. Debbie Phillips, the founder of Women on Fire, was recently featured in the November issue of More Magazine. I had the privilege of attending one of Debbie’s Women on Fire teas in Alpena, Michigan earlier this year and my life was elevated to a completely higher level…Hey now that’s a Dream Team!

This blog isn’t about hard work; it isn’t even about getting deep. It’s quite the opposite. I’m going to make a simple suggestion that doesn’t involve buying a self-help book, seeking counsel (although I am a fantastic coach), taking a class or traveling far away for a sabbatical aka. Eat, Love, Pray. Need a quick pick me up? Searching for a “sign” or a bolt of infinite wisdom to help you make a decision? Order Chinese. I’m serious…

For less than $10 you can receive a Zone meal with a perfect balance of protein, carbs and fat (I’m currently following this, more later)…and a message from enlightened Buddhists monks who absolutely must KNOW what the universe has in store for you.

Below are some of my favorites and after reading them you’ll realize they are profound, deep and yet simple. In fact, I think for some of them, entire books have been written on the very message. Some would even make a great screenplay! Read on, any resonate with you and what’s going on in your life today??? I bet so:

10. Your sense of humor will get you through difficult times
9. Your power is in your ability to decide
8. Look deeply within to root out negative attitudes
7. Something wonderful is about to happen to you
6. Don’t waste your time hesitating when opportunity presents itself, now is the time to move forward
5. Doubt is at the beginning, not the end of wisdom
4. Do or Do not, there is no try
3. Over prepare and then go with the flow
2. The love of your life will appear unexpectedly
1. YOU WILL BE HUNGRY AGAIN IN ONE HOUR

Again, sometimes it’s cool to not take ourselves so dang seriously and just enjoy life and its serendipity.

Take-out is a wonderful thing…A meal and a great pick-me-up…Order me up something extra spicy when you call in would ya?

P.S. And if you have a favorite fortune folded and tucked away in your wallet, please share, I’d love to hear your wish for the future.

Who are these dream snatchers anyways? Why do we give so much power to them when our dreams are just that, OUR dreams and not theirs? And how can we take back our power from Dream Snatchers and live the life we truly imagine for ourselves?

Dream snatchers can be found at work or lounging on the sofa in your own home. They might be an authority figure like your parent, boss or even a trusted professor. Even people who deeply care for you, such as a best girl friend, who is looking out for your best interest because she doesn’t want to see you hurt or worse, make her look lazy. But the most difficult dream snatcher of all can be found in your head. Yes, that would be you.

Negative self talk and self-doubt does not serve your dream.

Inserting your fears in your dreams will destroy the miracle waiting for you. Face it, we can talk ourselves out of anything especially if we are continually thinking of “what if” horror scenarios. Ever notice how we readily believe those voices that tell us we will fail; but the voices that tell us we are amazing we easily dismiss? How about talking yourself into something for a change? Change your mind set and start telling yourself what you can do, not what you can’t. Enough already!

Do you know the story of Fred Smith, the founder and CEO of Federal Express? FedEx is the first overnight express delivery company in the world and the largest in the United States. While attending Yale, Fred wrote a paper for an economics class outlining overnight delivery. Legend has it that his paper failed because the professor told him in order for him to get a C the idea had to be feasible. Overnight delivery would never work. The paper became the idea for FedEx and for years the sample package displayed in the company’s print advertisements featured a return address at Yale. The professor? A classic Dream Snatcher. Today FedEx just happens to be a multi-million dollar company but originally, it was just a dream of Fred Smith’s that he did not give up on no matter what anyone thought.

It’s time to fight fear with fire! Here are some comebacks to the most common naysayer’s sound bites:

1. You can follow your dreams someday – When is “someday”? “Someday” is not a day at all. Today is the only day guaranteed. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
2. Don’t quit your day job – Safer doesn’t always mean better. If that were the case you can be really safe living in a prison cell too.
3. That’s Impossible – Anything is possible, you just have to be dedicated and want it bad enough. Nothing is impossible, the word itself say’s “I’m possible”! – Audrey Hepburn.
4. Sounds like a lot of work – Hard work isn’t hard when you are concentrating on your passions and dreams.
5. You need money – You don’t need money, what you need is a plan. Ask yourself what actions can I take right now with the money and resources I have that will bring me closer to my goal?

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary”. – Steve Jobs, founder of Apple.

Dust off your dream girlfriend and move forward full steam ahead! Frankly, the only person’s opinion that truly matters is yours. If you don’t believe in you, who will?

So it’s only natural for me to celebrate my life with zest every single birthday. Let’s be honest, unless it’s a significant year (turning 21, 30, 40, and so on…), most people just shrug their shoulders and say, “eh, it’s just another year” or “I didn’t do anything special”. If this is you, you are doing yourself a huge disservice. You are special, very special indeed and this is reason enough to celebrate your life.

Take a page from my book and give yourself the best present you could possibly get on YOUR day. Revisit your bucket list.

Bucket List: A list of things to do before you die. Comes from the term “kicked the bucket”.

I say it’s “the best birthday present ever” because it has the potential to create some amazing experiences in your life: fabulous trips and thrilling adventures filled with love, joy and breathtaking moments. Are you mentally checking your list yet? If you don’t have a BL, make this birthday the year that you create one. A simple list scrawled out on a napkin will even work. Just make sure you write it down so you can add and cross off things in the years to come.

Step 1: Reflect on the past – What happened the past year that filled you with joy? Maybe it was starting a business. Getting your degree. The birth of your first child. Qualifying for the Boston. Hawaii. Check it off…if it wasn’t on the list but it’s certainly worthy, cheat. Write it on the list and then cross it off (big grin). Me? I got published and started my career as a writer. Yeah baby…

Step 2: Reflect on the future – Think of the things you want to do over the rest of your life if money and time were no object. Because face it, if we want something bad enough, the human spirit makes it happen. Me? Someday, I WILL spend copious time in Italy traveling the countryside, eating fabulous food, drinking amazing wine, and watching beautiful people. If I find a chateau to buy and refurbish aka. “Under the Tuscan Sun”, (2003), pack my stuff and ship it to me. “Chateau la Summer” will be etched on the entrance gate.

Step 3: What’s in the now? – Pick something on the list and make a commitment to yourself and better yet, publically, about what you hope to experience this coming year. Me? I’ve been training for the CRIM 10K race coming up on August 27th in my hometown of Flint, Michigan. Afterwards I’ll be eating pizza at my most favorite pizza place in the (WWW) whole wide world, Luigi’s. Yes, Flint, Michigan. It’s not exotic nor does it have to be.

Step 4: Repeat 1-3 every year on your birthday.

This is your life. You get one. I suggest you live like you were dying. Tick, Tock…
What’s on your list?

From “The Bucket List” a 2007 comedy-drama film directed by Rob Reiner, written by Justin Zackham, and starring Academy Award-winners Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman:

1. Witness something truly majestic.
2. Help a complete stranger for the good.
3. Laugh until I cry.
4. Drive a Shelby Mustang.
5. Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world.
6. Get a tattoo.
7. Skydiving!
8. Visit Stonehenge.
9. Spend a week at the Louvre.
10. See Rome!
11. Dinner @ La Chevre d’Or.
12. See the Pyramids.
13. Masada.
14. Taj Mahal.
15. Hong Kong.